Hey love, so listen, Ive got to tell you what happened with Emily this morning its a proper drama.
It all started when James, half asleep, snuggled up to Emily and whispered in her ear, Morning, Em. He drifted off again, mumbling sweetly.
Emily woke up, eyes wide, frozen on the bed as if any move would shatter something. A chill ran through her, and she kept wondering what on earth had gone wrong. Everything seemed fine a minute ago or was it?
James rolled over, yawned, and said, Emily, youre so cold, Im waking up just looking at you. Everything alright? Its summer, and youre shivering under the duvet. Ill put the kettle on for tea.
He shuffled to the kitchen, whistling a jaunty tune as if nothing was amiss. Emily stayed in bed a bit longer, then dragged herself up, halftheway to the bathroom. Her legs felt like lead, a dull buzz in her head. Maybe a proper cup of tea was the answer.
James asked for a pancake. Emily glared, You called me Mabel this morning.
What? Love? he replied.
Dont play the fool, James. You called me Mabel.
You mustve misheard, love. Emily, Mabel its all sleepy talk. Thats why youre all icy and sour. Women, eh? You make a fuss and then sit there sulking. Im heading to work on an empty stomach.
Emily wandered around the house, trying to shake the fog. She watered the plants, threw together a pancake, threw on a coat and drove to Jamess clinic. Maybe shed really misheard Emily Mabel.
When she got to his reception, a brandnew secretary was there a brighthaired, curvy girl with a cascade of ginger curls. She said, Dr. James is in and not seeing patients today. I can book you for next week.
Emily snapped, Better book yourself in, youll need it more.
The secretary blinked wideeyed, Excuse me?
Emily Thompson. Jamess wife. Move aside, weve got a crowd of streetwise folk here.
Just then Jamess voice crackled over the intercom, Emily, bring me a coffee, love.
Emily muttered, Fine, Ill fetch it.
James called out as she entered his office with the tray, Emily? Something wrong?
Heres your coffee. I also brought a pancake. Your divorce papers will be mailed. Enjoy.
James snapped, Emily, whats happening? Youre acting like a witch on a broom!
Your witch is sitting in the waiting room. Whys her hair a mess? A respectable dentist with a vulgar secretary what a cheap combo, James.
He tried to calm her, Stop, love. I cant stand the screaming. Im going to stay at the cottage for a week, give you space. Call when youve cooled off.
Emily shouted, Too late, James. I wont put up with cheating. Dont ever ask me why again.
James sighed, took a sip of his tea and grimaced, Lucy quit. I hired Mabel on her recommendation.
And when?
About a month ago, he admitted, looking away.
Why didnt you tell me? You always share your news.
I didnt think Mabel would stick around, but shes doing a brilliant job.
James flushed, Shes great at work!
Emily, shaking, replied, Thats not all.
James stammered, It was an accident! I didnt mean it!
Emily snapped, If you didnt mean it, you wouldnt have done it. Im packing my things today.
James panicked, Where are you going? I said Id stay at the cottage, calm down. I dont want a divorce!
Emily, cold, said, I cant hear my own name from your mouth anymore. Emily Mabel. Your redhaired secretary will keep haunting me. I cant take any more. My job is stressful enough with the kids.
James begged, Stay in the house.
Emily retorted, Why would I need your flat? I have my own home.
James replied, In the backcountry? That old timber cottage?
Emily: Thats my home. End of story.
The house was the one shed inherited from her parents, full of memories and a musty smell. She felt like crying, drowning in the past.
Her friend Nell, always a bit sharp, said, You cant live here, Em. Get back to the flat, sell this place, take a mortgage, move on.
Emily: No, I cant. Could you manage if you were in my shoes?
Nell: I dont know how Id handle it.
Emily opened every window, letting the fresh country air in.
Nell tried to sell her on the idea, Its a solid cottage, fifteen minutes by car to the city. The village has been spruced up, utilities are probably all there. Ive never been once in five years.
Emily: Sounds lovely, but its a lot of work. Maybe I could stay in the spare room for a bit?
Nell: The teenage room is offlimits, you know that.
Emily sniffed, Do you smell that? Grass, countryside, childhood.
Nell: The grass needs mowing, love. You wont manage alone.
Emily: I could hire a crew, Ive saved a bit. Ive lived off Jamess clinic earnings for five years. He treated my salary like pocket money, telling me to save for fun.
Nell sighed, Hes a good bloke, I guess.
Emily: I thought so too, but now it feels heavy. I even thought about pulling out Mabels frontteeth just to teach her a lesson shes young, healthy, she wont end up toothless.
Nell snorted, And youre old and sick? Youre only forty, love, lifes just beginning.
Emily: How do I tell Polly? I dont want her to drop school, come back to mend things. Ill just say were divorcing.
Nell: After twenty years together, thats harsh.
Emily waved her off, Buzz off, you drama queen.
Nell laughed, I thought youd be crying.
Emily: You wont get a word out of me.
Nell: Stress does that, you know.
Emily: Maybe.
Nell: You wanted a bit of support? Here, grab a bucket, lets fetch water, mop the floors, dust the windows.
Emily: Id rather stay in a hotel than fix this place.
Nell: Well, youre really doing this?
Emily: Its my parents cottage. Im not tearing it down or selling it.
Nell: You could hire designers, get it proper its our shared flat, after all.
Emily: I dont want to stay.
Nell: You wont split it, will you?
Emily: I think James will leave it to Polly and me he has a second cottage, a fancy one, with a toilet and water. Hell probably give it to us.
Nell: He bought a posh estate, could have left that to you too.
Emily: He doesnt need a well. I just want a walk, see the surroundings.
The old water tank was gone, replaced by a sleek new house behind a tall fence.
Nell, skeptical, said, No surprise there, after all these years. Look at how houses cluster together, theyll keep expanding.
Emily: What makes you think?
Nell: Walk around, youll see three sides fenced, the fourth just stakes. Maybe they havent finished the fence yet.
A car pulled up, a stranger in a coat stepped out, Excuse me, could you point me to a water source? I need a drink.
Emily, annoyed, muttered, Youre not a nothingspecial bloke, are you?
The man, quiet, just shook his head, stood by his car, hands in pockets.
Emily, frustrated, asked, What do you want?
He coughed, Just a bucket of water.
Emily: Right, I need firewood.
He shifted weight, You the owner? There used to be a water tank here.
Emily: Yes, Im the owner. I need water.
He: Sorry, no other tanks here.
Emily: Fine, Ill use my own well then.
He: Why not just go to yours?
Emily: I dont like wells, got it?
Nell whispered, Got any drinking water?
Emily: Im not stupid, Ill get it elsewhere.
He left, and the day went on.
The next morning, Emily was jolted awake by a pigs squeal just like childhood, only there were no warm pies in the kitchen. She heard footsteps outside, a rustle in the grass.
She shouted, Whos there? Ill call the police!
A neighbour called out, Dont worry, love, its me. I need to collect my pig, Hector.
Emily, still in pajamas, stepped onto the porch, Hector? What are you on about?
The man shouted from the garden, Hector!
A little black piglet emerged from the weeds, snuffling around Emily.
Purebred? Emily asked.
He shrugged, I dont know much about pigs.
Why do you have a pig?
Its not mine. It wandered onto my plot and made a home in the shed. Ive asked the whole village, no ones looking for a pig. Ive grown attached, honestly.
Emily, irritated, said, What brings you to this village?
He answered, Its quiet, fresh air, close to the city. You dont look like a country person, do you?
Emily snapped, Lets cut the nonsense. Im about to get divorced, Im stressed, I could break something. I grew up here, everyone had pigs. Stop staring at my hands.
He tried to leave, Lets go, its unsafe. I havent built a fence yet, but that pig loves your grass.
Emily: I dont hurt kids or animals.
He walked away.
The following day, a whine from a dog woke Emily another animal parade. Shed spent the whole day wandering, even popping into the local supermarket, never actually arranging for the plot to be dug up.
She stepped outside, saw a sleepy neighbour finally unlocking the gate. He was in a nightshirt, looking a lot like her. The pig snorted nearby.
Is that your puppy? Emily asked, halflaughing.
He replied, What gives you that idea?
Emily: Youve got no fence, pigs wander in, maybe dogs too.
He: Fancy keeping a puppy? I was actually heading to the animal shelter this week.
Emily: Ive never had a dog. Youve already sorted the pig.
He: Consider it a neighbourly gift. Name it something, will you?
Emily: Call him Arlo.
He: Not Arlo, Im Arsen. Bad idea to name your dog after me.
Emily: Then maybe Chuk? You already have Hector.
He: Chuk and Hector perfect! Whats your name?
Emily: Emily.
He: Nice name.
Emily lingered, not wanting to leave. Between the pig, the puppy, and the flood of memories, she felt stuck.
The neighbour offered, Lets train the pup together. Youll have a dog to guard the house.
Emily remembered Nells warning about marrying someone named Goremychko a name that sounds like trouble. She laughed at the irony, now stuck in a house with no water and an outdoor loo. She rubbed her knee, wishing for a shower.
She heard Jamess voice over a speaker, Emily, bring me a coffee.
She sighed, Look, meet James, this is Arsen. James, this is Arsen, my (soontobe) exhusband. What are you doing here? How did you find me?
Arsen: Just checking if youve changed your mind about the divorce. I thought you might have a gate open, a door, and maybe youd still be here.
Emily, trying to stay neutral, replied, Alright.
James, looking annoyed, said, My daughter dropped by, thought the cottage was empty. She probably called you. Youre just looking pretty. He waved and left the gate.
Emily turned to the neighbour, Why are you doing this?
He: Your house is old, no water, no gas, a loo outside. Youll keep coming to me, bringing all the stray animals. Lets just move you into my place. Im not looking for random women; Ive already split from my wife. Ive got two kids, we could live together, rebuild the house. Itd be easier for you.
Emily: Are you mad? I might be a psycho, but I wont let you near me. Im dealing with a divorce, betrayal. I warned you already.
He persisted, Ill fix your home, give you water, the works.
Emily: No, thanks.
A year later they actually got married and adopted a cat.
So thats the whole saga, love you cant make this stuff up! Talk soon.